The Return of the Killer Trees

Hey there friends. I live in Southern California and I regularly listen to a small radio station by the name of KROQ. I've been listening to that station since forever and after this weekend, I was brought back to a moment where Kevin and Bean could not stop talking about killer trees. I remember several years back, they were obsessed by the "killer trees" and "killer monkeys". There were many accidents around that time where people were smashed by trees or smashed into trees and them, being the dumb asses that they are, said that the trees were out to get us. Well... I'm beginning to think that Hollywood may have gone out and stole their concept.

*MOVIE SPOILERS FOR THE RUINS and THE HAPPENING*


A few weeks back when my compadre STRONGLY recommended that we watch The Happening. He didn't give anything away and he claimed that Shyamalan redeemed himself with this one. After the disaster that was Lady in the Water, I figured that maybe he righted his wrongs and it was worth a look, especially after he made a bad ass film like the Sixth Sense, I knew he had it in him to make a great film.

Well, it wasn't happening. My babe and I went to check it out and I was semi-disappointed while she was extremely disappointed. lol She straight out said, "That's it!" after the movie. The whole movie attempts to build suspense but fails to do so and when it "climaxes", it doesn't really feel like it cause, well... it's the fuckin' trees and plants that are causing the people to kill themselves. The movie pretty much tries to scare us stupid into believing that the plant life will kill us off unless we start taking care of Mother Earth. Point 1 for the killer trees.


This weekend, we rented out The Ruins. I'm not sure where we say the previews for this but it looked suspenseful and when it came out of DVD, we decided to check it out. The movie lags, big time. Felt like we were forced to watch the first 30 mins or so waiting for something to happen. Americans having a good time in a foreign land (*cough cough Touristas, Hostel, cough cough) and then some bad shit happen to them. In this case, it's the ruins of some city in the shape of pyramids. After the climb the pyramids, the locals will not let them leave, they surround the perimeter of the ruins and will kill anyone who tries to leave it.

Again, the movie lagged it. My wife tuned out about 40 mins into the movie and she started playing some "Pop-it" game on her phone. lol I continued to watch. lol At this moment she made this comment, "Damn, babe, you sure know how to pick em. First it was The Happening, and now this. This movie better not have some stupid ending like some killer trees or plants." Well, guess what... The movie had killer plants. LMAO I didn't tell her that since she was too busy playing the game, but I couldn't believe it and I started tuning out of the movie too and started playing Pop-it on my phone. This movie was a complete disappointment. I think I caught a glimpse of the ending and again, not satisfying. Nowhere near what I hoped for. Point 2, killer trees.

What triggered all of this? Some show my wife was watching on E!, her favorite channel by the way. I walked by and heard something along the lines of "...Ever since her husband, Sonny Bono, passed away..." I'm assuming it was Behind the Music: Cher, or that show True Hollywood Story. Somehow, I brought up the fact that he passed away due to a skiing accident. He swerved and smashed into a tree. That thought brought me think of the movies we saw, and ultimately, to Kevin and Bean.

It's funny how we associate things or make connections with things. I get that all the time. It's pretty common for someone to say to me, "Where did that come from?" lol Who would've thought that Cher would be bring me back to the days of Kevin and Bean where funny man, Jimmy Kimmel was doing sports. lol I still sing his intro song sometimes, "KROQ Sports with Jimmyyyyyy". lol Later!