What I Learned From my Mother

Hey there. I received this in my inbox today and I started twitching. lol Brought me back to the days when I was a lad. I'm sure I'm not the only one. For those of you that don't read or speak Spanish, I left a very "loose" translation underneath. For those of you that do speak and understand, I'm sure you've heard more than one of these phrases from your mother. Enjoy.


The Great things mother taught me:

My mother taught me about RELIGION -
"Ay Bendito, pidele a Dios que yo no te agarre, cabron."
"Oh young one, pray to God that I don't get my hands on you, you bastard"
(I heard this from my mother, aunts, uncles, and grandmothers... on more than one occasion...)

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION -
"Deja que llegue a la casa, pinche chamaco."
"Just wait until we get home, f*ckin' kid"

My mother taught me about about ROOTS -
"Malagradecido, cuando yo era chica, no tenia nada!"
"Ungrateful bastard, when I was a child, I had nothing!"

My mother taught me about LOGIC -
" Como que porque? porque si!"
"What do you mean why? Because I said so!"

My mother taught me about INSPIRATION -
"Si llegas con malas calificaciones te voy a dar con la chancla, cabron!"
"If you come home with bad grades, I'm going to whack you with my sandal, you bastard!"

My mother taught me about WISDOM -
"Tu crees que sabes todo, aprende a limpiarte la cola primero!"
"You think you know it all, learn how to wipe your ass first!"