Special Deals at HP Will Get Me Replaced!

Hey there. It's me again. My master has not been pleased as of late. He read my thoughts on HP machines here and he let me have a mouthful. He called me all kinds of names and he pushed my buttons. He worked me hard to prove to him that I still have the "power and juice" to get through another night of intense World of Warcraft. I guess my 512 MB memory is just not enough for my master anymore. I did my best but after many frozen games, he simply gave up. He turned me off and tossed me aside. I know my master is still mad. I heard my master talking to the she-master about how I'm "just not up to snuff" anymore and that he's going to need a new laptop. My worse fears are coming true.
It's been two weeks since that shameful night. My master doesn't even bother to look at me anymore. I bet he's dreaming of owning a new a HP laptop. Especially now that he can get $30 off orders $150 or greater at HP Home Store by using coupon code SV2132.(Valid through 10/31 or while supplies last. Restrictions and exclusions apply) How do I know? I'm friends with the HP server and it gave me a heads up on potential deals that may entice my master to leave me. I've been blocking those deals from my master since then, but now that I'm not even being looked at, I'm at the mercy of HP.

I can see my master stationed at the old desktop computer. It's come to this... The old desktop computer is getting more attention than me. Why is my master yelling, "YES!"? Is he smiling? Did I just hear the she-master say that my master got a great deal? Oh look! He's coming towards me. Finally, some attention from my master. "Hasta la Vista", what do you mean by "hasta la Vista"? My master must be confused. I still run Windows XP. Maybe he bought a Vista upgrade and is planning on upgrading me. YES!

Wait a minute... Why am I being tossed in the shed???