The Passionate Art of Lovemaking

An Italian, a Frenchman, and an Englishmen are hanging around discussing their previous night's love making with their wives. 

The Italian boasts, "I rubbed fine olive oil all over my wife.  Then I showed her the time of her life.  She screamed for a full five minutes!"

The Frenchmen responds with, "I rubbed sweet butter all over my wife's body.  Then I rocked her world.  She screamed for half an hour!"

"That's nothing.", responds the Englishman, "I covered my wife's body with lard.  Then, we made love and she screamed for six hours!"

Impressed, his friends ask, "How did you make her scream for 6 hours?!?!?" 

"Easy," says the Englishman, "I wiped my hands on the drapes."