How Do These People Survive???

A little bit of humor that I received in my inbox some time ago.

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

Life is tough...

it's tougher if you're stupid."

Are You Type A or Type X?

Hey there friends. I meant to post this yesterday, but I didn't have the pics available and I didn't want to do it without the visuals. My wife and I took a "Mental Health Day" from work. Basically, we took a day off. I walked in the office, told the boss the we taking a mental health day and we're good to go. We went to Six Flags, since we've been wanting to go for some time. My wife was a little reluctant, especially since we've recently had an earthquake and aftershocks are still going on here and there. We told ourselves that if we there was a sign that we shouldn't go, we won't. No signs, all was good, and off we went. lol

Last time we were there, it took forever just get on a ride. More like 2 hours just to hop on Goliath and another 2 for Tatsu. Not this time around. We went in the middle of the week and this is how I was hoping to see the lines. Free and clear and us being able to walk right up to the ride.



We were able to get on many of the rides with no more than a 15-20 min wait. The only ride that we really waited for was X2. Now that is an experience. Even waiting for the ride was something. There are TVs everywhere showing clips from Break.com Many extreme sports and people having the falls of their lives. lol



The slogan is everywhere too. "Are you type A or type X". Well, for those of you that haven't seen the ride, instead of being strapped in a cart, you're strapped to a seat that hangs off the side of the rail. The ride's description gives the impression that all your senses will be used and I'll say it's mostly true, since I don't remember using smell... unless you count the fire. Yes, the ride has fire. lol Once you're strapped in, the speakers on the ride come on and as you go up the rail, backwards mind you, Metallica's Enter Sandman plays. How fitting. lol The ride is short, no more than 45 secs or so, but because the seats rotate 360 degrees as you ride, the coaster spins your seat on every turn and loop, giving you an extreme experience. Don't believe me? Check out my wife on the below pic.



We just had to buy it. lol It was non stop shrieking from my wife the moment that we took that first plunge. I got her permission to post it here. She didn't want anyone to see it and said something along the lines of, "You can post it on your blog. No one reads that." lol I'm assuming she meant no one that actually knows us. lol I soooooo wanna get that blown up and framed. Put that sucker right in the middle of the living room.

We got on many other rides and took pics with the characters. Batman and Robin were definitely the funniest. The bastards posed and right before the pic was snapped, they would either jump up in the air and do some weird shit or they would start punching and kicking. I think they were bored. While taking the pic, you hear them both going, "Jab, jab, kick, midget punch! Hya! Hya! Hya!" You read that right, Batman said midget punch. Had my wife rolling. Good thing I didn't hear or I'd be laughing my ass off too. Here is the "tame" pic, that they decided to pose for.



We also took a pic with the Riddler and The Scarecrow. The only reason I'm posting this one is because while taking the pic, some guy saw The Scarecrow and yelled out, "Hey! Look! It's Sackman!!!!" Man, the crowd around us started laughing, including myself. My wife didn't think it was funny. I laughed, and laughed hard. What do you think? Sackman or Scarecrow? lol



We capped our day with funnel cake. It was funny because our feet were hurting and we decided to call it a day, so we started to head towards the exit. This one dude passed with a funnel cake, I didn't see him, the woman in that group said, "Oh, we gotta get a funnel cake." My wife and I both turned to look at each other so quickly that we damn near broke our necks. lol We were on the hunt to get us some funnel cake. We found the place, which conveniently was right by the exit, and handle our strawberry and chocolate funnel cake. Mmmm... funnel cake.



Take Mental heath days, people. We all need to just get away from it all from time to time. If you don't, you'll just burn yourself out. Gotta be a kid again sometimes and just go out and have some fun. Later!

Man Sized Food?

Hey there. I was talking to my compadre today and I was venting about how Doritos will now have less chips in their bags. I mean, they're small as it is already, why make them smaller for the same price? I remember back in the day, the 99 cent bag was pretty big. Today, it's almost half the size of that. Why? Economy sucks. Companies are trimming costs by putting less of their product in containers and charging us the same amount as before, if not more. Fuck that. I'm so not happy about it. But what is my compadre's solution to this? Create "man" sized portions and "woman" sized portions.

His solution made me laugh, and laugh hard. He then proceded to tell me about "man sized" cup of noodles. I've never hear of em, but his pic made me think. Some companies have already started this, bigger is better trend and I think it started with Hungry Man. I mean, is it really smart to advertise food differently to different sexes? And I don't mean different products or gender specific products. I'm talking about one product, different approaches. Let's use the example of Cup O Noodles. C'mon friends, we've all had em. They're like the universal "need food now" item. Whatever brand it is, we call em all Cup O Noodles. Anyways, if you were an advertiser, would you advertise a "man" sized portion and a "woman" sized portion? Is it a smart idea or is it more business savvy to have a single sized product? Just a couple of thoughts that are running through my mind right now. Later!

For Inspiring Chefs Everywhere

Hey there friends. I believe that the Nintendo Wii is a very innovative machine that has changed the way that we play video games. We can now get up and box a friend using the remote as the boxing gloves, play tennis using the remote as a racket, or swing the remote like a sword to slash. Now, we can add slicing and dicing and well as stirring to the ever expanding repertoire of Wii remote actions. Order Up! is the new cooking game for the Nintendo Wii that will put you in charge of your very own restaurant. You will manage your stations and serve up food in a hectic environment. Of course, before you can reach the status of a Chef Ramsey, you will need to work your way up. You'll start off as a fast food chain and as you gain praise from critics, as well as new and improved recipes, you'll work your way up to a world class restaurant. Not convinced? Maybe you need to check out the Order Up! Trailer . Order Up! Order yours today.

Make It Happen, We Need FFVII!!!

Hey there friends. Not sure if you've heard, but from what I hear, the Final Fantasy VII remake WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE IN THE STATES!!!! WHAT!?!?!?!?! SquareEnix (Squaresoft back in the day) made the mistake of not releasing Final Fantasy 2 and 3 in the states and it created a masss confusion regarding the numeration of Final Fantasy titles (FF2 in the states is really FF4 and so on). They finally released FFIII in DS form and it's a huge success. FF7 will no doubt be a hit as well, especially since the original is already considered to be the best game ever created. Sign this petition people. We need our FF7 fix!!!

Final Fantasy 7 Remake Petition

The Dark Knight Curse?

Hey there friends. It occurred to me this morning, while listening to the Morgan Freeman update (good thing he's doing well. Great actor, by the way), that The Dark Knight movie might be cursed. Think about it for a second... First, it's the untimely death of Heath Ledger, then it's the arrest and emotional distress of Christian Bale, and now... it's the serious car accident of Morgan Freeman. It's weird, no? And I'm not sure if you've heard this saying, but things usually happen in threes. Just kinda odd, if you ask me. Later.