Hey there friends. I received this in Email this morning. It's so true on so many levels. lol Enjoy.
A Woman's Greatest Gift
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So... if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of sh*t!!!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Welcome to the Wolrd of MagNext
Hey there friends. Looking for an online, kid friendly environment where battles of skills are tested daily? Then the virtual world of MagNext is for you. Sign up is quick, easy, and free. Once you've created your character, which is a sphere, then you can explore the virtual world of Magnext. Seeing the screen shots of the Magnext world, I figured that my son would enjoy a site like this, where he and his other car enthusiast friends can join and play. After I tested the waters, I was pleasantly surprised that the community works a lot like a role playing game. On the "world map" other spheres will be roaming around and on occasions, battle you for bragging rights and experience points. I was in the game no more than a minute when someone challenged me. I declined though. Being a seasoned RPG player, I'd be a fool to go into battle without leveling up and equipping some gear.
Leveling up is not a tough task, here. You can do it through battle or you can level up through many of the mini games that are scattered in the MagNext world. I tried out The Spheron Speed Challenge. A game where you are blasted from a launcher and you must guide your character through the street while picking up power ups and avoiding the obstacles. The challenge here is to get your character to travel the farthest before it runs out of juice. Considering it that it was my first time, I don't think I did so bad. Me, being a guy of stats, will want to improve my ranking. Check it out.
I'm still a rookie at this but I will be getting better. I was looking for a kid friendly environment for my son, but seems like I found a past time for me. Feel free to add me to your MagNext friends list. I'll make sure that when we do battle, I will be ready. Later!
Leveling up is not a tough task, here. You can do it through battle or you can level up through many of the mini games that are scattered in the MagNext world. I tried out The Spheron Speed Challenge. A game where you are blasted from a launcher and you must guide your character through the street while picking up power ups and avoiding the obstacles. The challenge here is to get your character to travel the farthest before it runs out of juice. Considering it that it was my first time, I don't think I did so bad. Me, being a guy of stats, will want to improve my ranking. Check it out.
I'm still a rookie at this but I will be getting better. I was looking for a kid friendly environment for my son, but seems like I found a past time for me. Feel free to add me to your MagNext friends list. I'll make sure that when we do battle, I will be ready. Later!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Fortune Cookie Wisdom
Hey there. Once upon a time, I was not a Chinese food kinda guy. I hated the stuff and I hated the smell of it. Actually, I was turned off by all kinds of food. Especially Chinese food and pickles. Of course, that's before I met my wife. I've always tried foods for her and she's reluctantly tried some foods for me (remember the octopus incident, dear?) and now, I can say that I enjoy eating some Chinese food and I'll have some pickles in a burger here and there. Anyways, a few days ago, we go out to an all you can eat buffet. One of the good ones. The ones that have all kinds of seafood, Chinese food, and few American eats. After we over stuff ourselves, our waitress comes over with our fortune cookies. Here is her fortune:
"Be patient! The Great Wall didn't got build in one day."
Low and behold, ancient fortune cookie wisdom at it's finest.
We chuckled at the wording. We thought it was hilarious. But now, I'm thinking that maybe it was meant to be worded that way so that you can put some actual thought into it. Nah, I'm sure that the brainiac that was the translator merely screwed up the wording.
Ah... Life's simple treasures. I love it when smiles come from unexpected places. Later!
"Be patient! The Great Wall didn't got build in one day."
Low and behold, ancient fortune cookie wisdom at it's finest.
We chuckled at the wording. We thought it was hilarious. But now, I'm thinking that maybe it was meant to be worded that way so that you can put some actual thought into it. Nah, I'm sure that the brainiac that was the translator merely screwed up the wording.
Ah... Life's simple treasures. I love it when smiles come from unexpected places. Later!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Let's Go For A Drink
Hey there. I thought this was pretty hilarious. Here is the thought process of men and women when going out for a drink. Enjoy.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
New Work Policy
Hey there. I've been at work for about 2 days and already there are changes that I am just being aware of. Of course, this only after I've had my ass chewed out by my boss after breaking "Innovative #5"... Here's the memo that was sent out by the HR department.
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f*ck you're doing.
Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f*cking bitch.
Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f*ck do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f*cking way.
Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh*ting me!
Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh*t..
Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f*cking problem.
Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f*ck?
Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh*t won't work.
Number 10
TRY SAYING : I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f*ck didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh*t and die.
Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F*ck it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f*cking job sucks.
Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f*ck died and made you boss?
Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a d*ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f*ck you're doing.
Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f*cking bitch.
Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f*ck do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f*cking way.
Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh*ting me!
Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh*t..
Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f*cking problem.
Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f*ck?
Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh*t won't work.
Number 10
TRY SAYING : I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f*ck didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh*t and die.
Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F*ck it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f*cking job sucks.
Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f*ck died and made you boss?
Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a d*ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
Monday, January 19, 2009
Back at Work and a Broken Box
Hey there. So I'm back at work... Vacation is finally over and that sucks. My wife and I so did not want to come in to work today. Especially since it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day and the kids have the day off and we're here, at work. As soon as we walked in the office, a coworker tells me to call the boss before I get started on working. Damn, can't I get settled in first? You know, a cup of joe before I get hounded? So I sit at my desk and call the boss to see what's up. Looks like he's not going to be in this week so I'm boss for the week and he left several instructions for me. Which includes a meeting, of course... Ugh... I'm not even up to speed yet and I need to represent him in a meeting. Hopefully, I'll be able to get out of it. So I then turn on the computer and open my Email. Bracing for the worse... Yup, just as I expected. A shitload of Emails. So many Emails, that I had to wait approx. 45 mins for the computer to put them all in my inbox! Close to 800 Emails. Ugh. I sooooo don't want to be here right now.
Anyways, this weekend was quite eventful. I had (notice the had) a good size projection big screen. You know, those old ones that are bulky as hell? I got it from my uncle when we moved into our home. I needed something better than a 23 incher to display in the living room. The color of the big screen was always off. Blue and green were essentially the same hue and it finally got to me. I decided to open up the bad boy to see what was the problem. As many projection screens go, the blue color gun was busted. It didn't display a projection while the the red and green ones were working fine. I found where you can adjust the color and was hoping that maybe it just needed fine tuning and as I was adjusting the color, the screen turned to a red color and after a few seconds of that, it turned black. Crap. I think the TV just died on me. I was not able to get the screen to come back on and after reading up on it online, I discovered that I was not alone and many people described what just happened to me. How the blue color always goes first and before you know it, poof, you're tv is just a huge box sitting in your living room. I ended up calling a few repair people to see how much it would cost to repair it. Prices ranged anywhere from $300 to $500. Damn, screw that. I went online to look for another TV to buy. So where do I go? Craigslist.com.
I browsed around there and people were selling their busted TVs. All saying the same thing. Blue color is off. I finally found one that is slightly smaller than our original TV but it works perfectly. All for $100! Can't go wrong with that. So I Email the guy and he hooks it up and on Sunday, I take my cuz's truck over there to pick it up. The dude was cool and even helped me load the sucker in the truck. So I take it home and it's "small" compared to our old TV but you can't complain in getting a 50 inch or so TV for $100. And the best part? YOU CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GREEN AND BLUE!!! YES!
Damn, just remembered that I'm at work. Gotta knocked down most of these Emails. Later.
Anyways, this weekend was quite eventful. I had (notice the had) a good size projection big screen. You know, those old ones that are bulky as hell? I got it from my uncle when we moved into our home. I needed something better than a 23 incher to display in the living room. The color of the big screen was always off. Blue and green were essentially the same hue and it finally got to me. I decided to open up the bad boy to see what was the problem. As many projection screens go, the blue color gun was busted. It didn't display a projection while the the red and green ones were working fine. I found where you can adjust the color and was hoping that maybe it just needed fine tuning and as I was adjusting the color, the screen turned to a red color and after a few seconds of that, it turned black. Crap. I think the TV just died on me. I was not able to get the screen to come back on and after reading up on it online, I discovered that I was not alone and many people described what just happened to me. How the blue color always goes first and before you know it, poof, you're tv is just a huge box sitting in your living room. I ended up calling a few repair people to see how much it would cost to repair it. Prices ranged anywhere from $300 to $500. Damn, screw that. I went online to look for another TV to buy. So where do I go? Craigslist.com.
I browsed around there and people were selling their busted TVs. All saying the same thing. Blue color is off. I finally found one that is slightly smaller than our original TV but it works perfectly. All for $100! Can't go wrong with that. So I Email the guy and he hooks it up and on Sunday, I take my cuz's truck over there to pick it up. The dude was cool and even helped me load the sucker in the truck. So I take it home and it's "small" compared to our old TV but you can't complain in getting a 50 inch or so TV for $100. And the best part? YOU CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GREEN AND BLUE!!! YES!
Damn, just remembered that I'm at work. Gotta knocked down most of these Emails. Later.
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