Vatican Humor

Hey there. Just a little something that I found funny. Later.


Vatican Humor

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile?

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph. (Remember, the Pope is German and loves the Autobahn.)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.

'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: ' A senator?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

John C. Fremont!!!

Hey there. I ventured into our local Jamba Juice not to long ago and was quite pleased to see that the high school that I attended is sponsoring the Jamba Juice. They had a little corner full of Fremont stuff. Sweaters, banners, flags and what not, all bearing The Pathfinder mascot.

While in high school, I was pretty much anti-school activities. I didn't go to the dances, skipped out on prom, and didn't really participate in anything that the school paid for. I wasn't happy with the way the administration ran the school. Being that it is an "inner city school", it was severely under performing in many key areas. It sucks to be in school and then realize there's not enough books or whatever to go around. Not enough resources to help the students learn. Is it the admin's fault? Or is it California's? I don't know, but I keep an eye out on education because I don't want my kids to experience that crap in their schools. It's a huge let down knowing that you're not going to get work done cause there's a 40 minute wait for a computer at the library.
However, I was a band geek. I did participate in many of the band activities since we, the band members or PBO (Pathfinder Band Organization), paid for everything we did. Since we busted our asses off, other organizations took notice and invited us to perform at locales such as The Hollywood Parade. It also offered other opportunities to expand my musical horizons. I learned to play trumpet so that I can be a part of the All City Band. If you watch the Rose Parade, you'll see them marching on TV. And I also was offered a small scholarship from the LAUSD (Los Angeles Unified School District) for my accomplishments as a flute player. YES! I said flute player. Metallman played flute in high school so get over it and stop laughing. lol Music in school was my escape from all the drugs and gang violence in school. A small tidbit on Fremont, it's the birth place of the Blood and Crips gangs, so that should give you an idea of the surrounding areas.

Despite all that, Fremont molded me into me. I was an alright student. I just didn't want to be in class. lol You'd expect someone like to just sneak by high school, but nah, I graduated with honors and took several AP courses in my senior year. Some highlights of that senior year include me calling my AP Spanish teacher bitch (in return she called me "Animal", in Spanish of course...), creating "Viculus" (my short cut version of AP Calculus) and having my Economics and Calculus teacher going at it. LMAO That was a great argument. They were arguing over my grade. My Economics teacher gave me a C, even though I aced the final, he graded me down since I was rarely in class. My Calculus teacher gave me an A since I aced the final, she argued that because I knew the material, I deserved the A. The heated argument then ensued. Classic, classic stuff.

As crappy a school it is, it's still my school. It's where I grew up and it's a part of who I am. So whenever someone gets to talking about high schools, I back up Fremont. Hell with the Lancers, the Roughriders, the Bulldogs, the Eagles, or the much respected Highlanders (Granada Hills). Fremont Pathfinders all the way, BABY!

Summer Vacation in Kissimmee, Florida

Hey there friends. As I was looking at the pictures of the kids and I in the pool, I got to thinking that maybe it's time to take a family vacation. But I mean, a REAL vacation. My wife and I try to take vacation time from work to coincide with the kids so that we can spend time with them during their vacation and they can sleep in. We've taken them to all the local theme parks but that's just the thing, it's local. I'm not sure if hanging around your local area can be considered a vacation. So I've decided to enter the Kissimmee Sweepstakes.

Who would not want to spend 6 nights in beautiful Florida? Especially in one of the many luxury hotels there. Not only will 2 lucky winners of the sweepstakes have a 6 night stay, but they will also receive many freebies for themselves and their kids. I can so picture my wife and I enjoying a couple’s massage at the Omni ChampionsGate while the kids are off at Camp Omni Kids’ escape for two. Since the stay is for 6 nights, we'll have plenty of time to check out one of the many theme parks there, such as SeaWorld, Disney World (the kids really want to go there) and Universal Studios Orlando. Or simply just hang out at Cape Canaveral or Satellite Beach and soak up the summer sun. Hey, even if we don't end up the grand prize winners, we can still hope to land one of the other great prizes such as a 3 night stay at Kissimmee .

A man can dream, right. I've entered the sweepstakes in hope of being a winner. Considering the stress that many of us have encountered in the recent months, a nice family get a way is just what the doctor ordered to lift our spirits. So check out the details of the sweepstakes here and enter for a chance to win a dream vacation. Later.

A Very Metal Birthday

Hey there. My B day has come and gone. I want to say that I'm 27 now. I really don't want to do the math since I'm extremely tired from this weekend's activities. Let's get a run down, starting from Friday.

Friday

My wife had a get together planned at the house for my B day. It was mostly my cousin's that showed up with a few of their friends. There was way more food and drinks that we could consume and after once everyone was feeling a little buzzed, my bro suggested we all play rockband. I think the boy is hooked on singing. He had us laughing since he demonstrated the moon walk while singing Beat It. lol My wife was filming and I haven't gotten the chance to see the vid but if it's as hilarious as I remember, it's going on Youtube. lol My bro also seemed genuinely disappointed when it was time to go. He didn't want to cough up the mic. My mother and many of my cousins were going to take part in Revlon's Walk for Women, a walk to help fight women's cancer, so they called it a night pretty early. Our last guests went home a little after midnight which bring me to...

Saturday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! My wife got me METALLICA TICKETS!!! That's right. A little after midnight, she reaches into her purse and pulls out 2 tickets to go see Metallica in Anaheim. HELL YES! Does my babe rock or what! We busted our asses off trying to get them off of KROQ when they were giving them away. You needed to be caller 20 to be a winner and the best I got to was caller 18. Concert is going to be in December... I want to see Metallica NOW! lol Once I calmed down, we went to bed. We then had breakfast the next morning at IHOP. We also had to handle some home loan business. We were able to get our home loan remodified (Thank you President Obama!) and got our mortgage reduced and a way better interest rate than when we first got the loan. So after breakfast, we went to the bank, got the certified check that we needed and then dropped off all the paperwork at FedEx. We then drove home to relax a few before heading out my cousin's baby's Baptism. They had horses for the kids to ride, which was pretty cool, but the story of the night actually came from their neighbor's house. When we first walked in, we noticed that the neighbor's where hanging out by the fence. We figured they were hanging out there to catch a glimpse of the horses and what not. Well, it turns out that the neighbors where there because their baby was trapped in the car. THEIR BABY WAS TRAPPED IN THE CAR! No one realized the severity of the situation until a AAA truck pulled in their drive way to open the door. And this was about an hour or so after we arrived! God knows how long the baby was in there. It upset me some that they left the baby in there for so long. If it was my child, I would not leave him/her in there for anything close to an hour. I would have busted a window or something. We hear in the news all the time how a parent would leave their kid in the car only to come back to a dead child because of the heat or suffocation. They were lucky that this happened during the evening so heat wasn't a factor but still...

Sunday

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! I surprised my wife with a set of flowers and her Mother's Day gift. She's been wanting a set of Doc Marten Boots so I got her a pair. 20 eye Docs with a zipper on the side since I know that lacing up could be a pain. We then went to have breakfast at Mimi's Cafe. I made reservations well in advance since I know it would suck to wait for a table. We showed up and waited no more than 10 mins before being seated. We were there first. My brother was to take my mother and grandma and we were expecting my mother in law as well. My wife got a little upset since her mother was running a little late. My mother was running late too so I told her not to let it get to her. We all sat down, had our breakfast, cracked some jokes and went on with our day. We went to my Aunt's house since she asked the night before for everyone to show up at her place to watch the Laker game (Damn Losers!). We were one of the first to get there and after awhile, the swarm of people that is my family started coming in. The kids ended up jumping in the pool. My wife and I felt a little uncomfortable with them in there since they're not the best of swimmers. One of my Aunt's piled on the floating devices on our little and once they all had their floating tubes, they were having some fun. We didn't feel at ease until I jumped in with them. I had too. Was the only way I really feel comfortable since the pool did not have a shallow end. So yeah, after killing hours in a pool and eating afterwards. We took off, tired as hell.

MONDAY

At work, tired as hell. Had to roll off the bed cause I didn't want to get up. I think the whole family is tired from this weekend. None of the kids seemed to be awake this morning. lol They all seemed sluggish and hesitant to get up and that includes us. So, that was my weekend. How was yours?

Shopping For Mega Brands Toys

Hey there friends. Toys are a staple to every person's childhood. I'm sure that we fondly remember which toys were our favorites and now, as a parent, I try to provide some of those memories by getting my kids some pretty awesome toys. For example, as a child, I played with Voltron toys. You know, the metal toys that hardly had any plastic and would not be deemed safe by today's standards. lol There's not much in form of Voltron now but we do have MEGA Brands Neo Shifters. My boy loves anything that you can build and these are perfect for him. He already owns quite a few but because the pieces can be combined with other Neo Shifters, his imagination takes over and he'll create his own monster. He doesn't have a blue one so this one would go great with his collection.

Then we have all sorts of great products by MEGA Brands Rose Art to bring out the inner artist. My daughter's godmother is an aspiring artist and when it comes to birthday gift's, my daughter usually receives art stuff from her god mother. She already has colored pencils, chalks, some small canvases, and pastels, but she doesn't have an easel. This would be perfect for her since it will house all of her art supplies.

Not to forget our little one. She loves blocks. Her first set of blocks were MEGA Brands Mega Bloks, which she still builds with today. She already owns the Wild West Dora set and a Cinderella set to expand her building blocks. She's been in Sleeping Beauty mode so I think this set would make her happy.


Nostalgia is hitting me now. lol I think I'll need to go get myself some toys as well. =oD We're getting older, friends, but doesn't mean we can't stay young at heart! Later!

What if...

Hey there. My wife and I were watching TV the other day and my wife brought up the idea of "what if...". She was telling me how she does that often in her head. She'll wonder about the decisions she made and how exactly they have affected her life. It's a fair thought. I'm sure many of us have wondered how our lives would have been have we not got married, gone to college, or took that other job instead of the one you have now. I told her that I don't think like that. I don't see any good in thinking about "what if". She asked me if I thought it was normal that she seems to think that way a lot. I told her that I think it is. If it wasn't normal, we wouldn't see that idea in TV, movies, and books. I think that our minds are naturally curious and a thought like that is bound to get in your head from time to time. But as for me, I don't think I'm the normal one.

I have not had a thought of "what if" since I was a kid. My dad passed away when I was 9 and I remember the day that changed my life forever. My pops loved soccer and played in an adult league. That day, he went to his game and asked me to go. I refused. I decided to stay home that day. He ended up going to the game and afterwards, hung out at his friend's place for a few brews, which was the norm. What took place soon after was not. From what I was told, an argument broke out between a friend and his wife. I am not sure if the friend struck his wife or what, but my pops intervened and when his friend stuck him to free himself, my pops struck back, but struck the wife by accident. Before we know it, my pops is in jail and that was his last taste of freedom. While in the L.A. County Jail, I'm pretty sure he was murdered. Cops said it was suicide, but from seeing graphic pics of his body (which I should not have at such a young age), the bruising and cuts did not fit in to a suicide attempt.

I drove myself crazy during that point in my life, wondering, "what if I went with him that day?" Would we have gone home earlier? Would the argument between husband and wife even occur if I was there? It's a terrible way to think. What if, what if, what if... To be 9 and have this burden on you, it's just not healthy. It was a daily struggle to not think "what if". Once I came to grips that no matter how much wondering and playing different scenarios in my head and my pops wasn't coming back, I refused to allow myself think like that. I do not wonder or think in the form of "what if" anymore. No point in it. I've dealt with those demons and I don't need to step into that realm again. What's done is done and what happened is in the past and unless someone has that DeLorean from Back to the Future, there really isn't anything you can do about it.

All that has occurred in my life, the decisions made and not made, the good times and the bad, have made me the Metallman that I am today. There really isn't anything that can be done to change that. Later!