To all Parents and Demons in Training

Hey there. I was going through my Emails for something funny to put up today, since I'm not much in the mood to do a "thought invoking" post. lol So I dug up this set of poems that my wife sent me that I thought was hilarious. This is for you, The Mad White Woman! lmao Since I know your "demons" could be a handful. Hope it brings a smile to your face. Later!

Poem to MOM

My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.

'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'

It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
Get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D.'

Mom's Reply and Thoughts

Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D .
Who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best. '

I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'

He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
Just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'

4th of July Weekend and a Little One's Birthday

Hey there. Did everyone have a safe and wonderful weekend? Our weekend started on Friday. Our policy at work allows us to take a day off from the work week if a holiday lands in the weekend. Because Independence Day came on a Saturday, we took Friday off. Knowing this, we scheduled a 4D ultrasound for Friday morning. What an experience! I've never been to one of those before and after we registered and what not, we were led to a room with a big screen TV. The kids and I sat on the couch while the ultrasound tech did her thing. It was crazy to see our little on the big screen. The kids loved it. They thought it was neat the way we were able to finally see the little one. First of all, we noticed that he has chubby cheeks. I think all babies do, but it was pretty apparent from the ultrasound. Secondly, he refused to let us have a good view of his face. He had his arms up the whole time, partially blocking his face. He let them down only a few times and allowed a good shot here and there but it was surprising to us that he was asleep during this time. Of course, he's been kicking away for days, so of course.... the one day we were gonna see him, he decided to sleep in. lol Check out one of the pics. He so looks like a boxer with his arms up. It's so surreal to see him well before his due date.

Afterwards, we sped off to my mother in law's to show the grandparents the pics. They were thrilled. From there, we went to Babies R Us to register. We tried to make it a family affair, where everyone helped in selecting some of the items that would be good for the baby and us. It didn't work out so well... The kids rushed us from every angle holding up items that they all believed would be great for the baby. "Mommy, look at this", "Daddy check this out"... They didn't really allow us to discuss the items to see if we'd like them before they rushed us again with more items. lol We decided that it would have been better if they stayed at grandma's so that we can think out and the items. lol They got the hint after a short while and settled down. We then scanned items that we would consider buying ourselves. It seemed wrong to us to just walk down the isle and scan everything in our sight. That seemed to be the mentality of other expectant couples that were there. We tried to be considerate. We decided that when we register at places, we're going to through in a few gag gifts. Babies R Us is a pretty straight forward place so the only thing that could be considered a gag there was a Nintendo Wii and Wii Fit game. We scanned them, thinking that no one in their right mind would buy them. lol I'm going to laugh if some one does. We're also planning on registering at Target and we've thought out some gag gifts to scan there, which include, but are not limited to condoms, KY Jelly, and other "naughty" things of that nature. lol Our registry number is 94458364 at BabiesRUs. If anyone cares to check it out and get us something, many thanks! We'll greatly appreciate it. We then went back to my mother in law's for my brother in law's birthday party. We were pretty tired by then but ended up staying pretty late. My mother and brother showed up so we ended up hanging out with them for most of the evening. We also chatted it up with some of my wife's cousin's who we don't get to see often. Fun fact: One of my wife's cousins know my cousin from where they both worked together many years ago. Small world, no?

Saturday was our little one's birthday, also knows as Independence Day in the states. We decided that we were going to go down to Long Beach and catch the firework show that will shown near the Queen Mary. The morning didn't start off to well. My cousin called to say that he would be there to early to get a good spot. I figured that he'd get the spot so we didn't really needed to be there that early so we'd leave the house around noon and we'll be good. Bad move. We ended up leaving at noonish, after making a trip to Target (sunscreen and what not) and the market for ice, we didn't officially head off to the beach until about 12:30 or so. Freeway traffic was light, but because we got wrong directions, we headed off in the wrong directions... TWICE! We went over two massive bridges and I know we were not going to to the beach. After I called my bro and he gave me the correct directions, we finally made it to the beach... ONLY FIND CARS BUMPER TO BUMPER AND NO PARKING SPACES IN SIGHT!!! I was frustrated. Time being close to 1:30 or so, I was upset that we were still in the car and not at the beach. The beach is no more than 15 mins away from my house so for us to take that long to get there was extremely frustrated. I told my family, if we don't find a parking spot in 15 mins, we're going home. Yup, it was that bad, friends. It seemed like god heard me at that point because right in front of us, some guy left his house and jumped in his car and left. We pulled in and took his spot. We had to walk 3 huge blocks, carrying all our beach stuff. It took us almost another 20 mins just to get to the spot. It was worth it though. The kids had a blast and that's what my wife and I wanted. I also heard the news of Steve McNair's death from my brother, who was checking it out from his phone. Sad, sad news. After checking it out on my phone, and reading up on it, I decided that I'll check it out on SportCenter later, since I don't want to spend the day looking for updates. I'm like that sometimes. lol Check out some of the pics from the event.
Out night ended with us standing on the shore watching the firework show. We were too busy checking them out to take any pics of that. Kinda a bummer but it's ok. Traffic on the way home was hell... Again, only 15 min drive from the beach ended up being closer to an hour because of all the cars being dread locked. And to top it off... My wife and I had to go to the restroom. When we finally made it home, we both rushed into restrooms. I thanked our lucky stars that we have two restrooms at home. lol

When Sunday morning rolled around, I declared it "Not Going to do Shit Day". All of our bodies were not up to do much. My kids complained that their arms and legs hurt, I complained about it, and my wife was too tired to complain. lol We all decided to take it easy and just watch movies and nap. Good times. lol

We had us an eventful weekend. How was all of yours?

At Long Beach celebrating my baby's birthday. Just waiting for the fire work show to begin.

DogOSuds by Dinovite

Hey there friends. You guys should be well aware that I have a zoo at home. lol Dogs, cat, rabbit, tarantula... and it's tough to keep the house smelling clean when our family pets are roaming around the house. Our dogs, Odin and Lucy, are outside dogs, but have the privilege to hang around the house from time to time. One of our biggest problems is their odor and shedding. Don't you hate it when it feels as if you wash your dog one day, just to have the stink return the next? Or have them jump on your couch only be able to point out the exact spot they were sitting in? I haven't been able to find a solution to these problems. Until now, that is.

Dinovite has done it again with their line of dog shampoo, DogOSuds. I'll admit, I haven't tried this shampoo yet, but I'm planning on getting it since I feel demoralized when I wash my dogs only have that odor return and I've tried a few different shampoos hoping that one will keep our dogs smelling clean. I was about to give up hope til this product presented itself. I've already talked to my wife about it and we're going to go for it. And as an added plus, the shampoo is a natural flea deterrent! Considering that they're outside most of the time, a little added flea protection would be great to help keep fleas outside the house. That's the last thing I need, considering that we're expecting a new addition to the family come October.

Now... If only Dinovite can branch off and create a "MeowOvite", I'd be an even more happy pet owner. The shampoo that we have for Jack, our cat, just isn't cutting it no more and a product like this would be great for him as well, since this dog shampoo reduces shedding. Until I find that product, later.

Olivia Munn's Playboy Cover

Hey there. Yesterday, I mailed out our copy of the recent Playboy magazine to Olivia Munn. That's right, G4's very own Olivia Munn, who so happens to be on the cover. A few months ago, we received one of those little cards in the mail that asked if we wanted to subscribe to Playboy magazine. My wife and I let the card sit in the mail pile until we decided why not. It was only $10 for the year and we got a free DVD to boot. Truth be told, I haven't even read any of the 4 or 5 magazines that we've already received. My wife is the one that actually goes through the magazines and then tells me if there is anything good or not. I haven't opened them yet to check them out for myself so I don't know if the articles are any good... *wink wink* lol

Anyways, the recent issue features Olivia Munn on the cover. I didn't get a chance to read it but my wife was upset because it only had a few pages of Ms Olivia on it and none of her pics were completely nude. lmao She proclaimed it a rip off. lol I mentioned to my wife how Olivia offered to sign copies of the magazine for fans. She said that I should get it signed. Not a bad idea. Yesterday was the day that I finally had the chance to send out our copy of the magazine to her for a signature. Because she's in LA, I'm hoping that it will not take long to receive our magazine. How bad ass of her to do that, considering that I'm pretty damn sure that many of her fans will be sending in their magazines. Or maybe, it's a ploy to make her cover the best selling ever. Hmmm... Something to think about. lol Once I get my copy back, I'll make sure to post a pic of it. Later!!

A Patriotic Music Collection For $1.99

Hey there friends. July 4th is coming up and aside from it being my little one's birthday, it is also America's Independence Day. The day that America declared their independence. Grills will be burning, fireworks will be blazing and music will be blasting from millions of homes come July 4th. To honor the great American holiday, Amazon.com is offering the album, A Salute To America , by the 101 String Orchestra, for only $1.99 on July 3rd during Amazon's Deal of Day special. A collection of over 30 songs, that is bought individually, would total close to $30. This true blood American collection includes classics such as God Bless America, Stars and Stripes Forever, Battle Hymn of the Republic, America the Beautiful, The Star Spangled Banner, and many more. The album went on sale today and it retails for approx. $10 so if you get the album during Amazon's Deal of the Day, you'll be getting the album for at least 80% off.

On a personal note, history teachers should pick this album up as a means to display some music, dedicated to America, to their students . Especially during the week or so leading up to Independence Day. I remember as a child how my teacher would play the music during our history lesson as a way to make the lesson more interactive. I must say that it was fairly effective since I remember walking home humming some of the songs or remembering a certain lesson each time the song was played. For $2, you really can't go wrong with A Salute To America, a collection of 30 of America's greatest hits. Later.